


Blonds Have More Fun

by Asuka Kureru (Askerian)



Category: Homestuck, Naruto
Genre: Bi-Curiosity, Crossover Pairings, M/M, Partying, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, also post-Madara, even more stealthily so, stealthily so
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-31
Updated: 2014-04-15
Packaged: 2018-01-06 21:58:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1111977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Askerian/pseuds/Asuka%20Kureru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"If you're hitting on me, queue's to your left," Dave replies, and then he looks.</p><p>The man has nice arms. Solid shoulders, strong biceps. Baby face still, baby-blue eyes in the white strobe lights and friendly dimples. Someone got him with funny cat-whiskers paint that's just subtle enough to tickle Dave's funny bone, but with a body like that he's got to be at least twenty.</p><p>"What, no!" The man blushes so hard Dave can see his face darken even through the flashing lighting and dim of the dance floor. He actually honest-to-God <i>flails his hands</i>, what a dork. "I just -- argh, and you totally <i>know</i> that, don't you?"</p><p>--<br/>Anonymous asked: Dave/Naruto, hooking up at a house party (papabrostrider is to blame for this one)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [buffdaddy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/buffdaddy/gifts).



> ... why does this work. what have i wrought. bad. no. stop.

It's not like it's rare at his gigs for someone to sidle up to the booth and go, "Hey! Nice music!", grinning and interested.

"If you're hitting on me, queue's to your left," Dave replies, and then he looks.

The man has nice arms. Solid shoulders, strong biceps. Baby face still, baby-blue eyes in the white strobe lights and friendly dimples. Someone got him with funny cat-whiskers paint that's just subtle enough to tickle Dave's funny bone, but with a body like that he's got to be at least twenty.

"What, no!" The man blushes so hard Dave can see his face darken even through the flashing lighting and dim of the dance floor. He actually honest-to-God _flails his hands_ , what a dork. "I just -- argh, and you totally _know_ that, don't you?" he finishes with an accusatory glare.

Dave gives him a faint smirk. "Maybe I do." Dave doesn't usually like them blond -- he's blond enough for two, contrast is nice -- but he does like them buff. (If he wants thin and pretty he'll usually just go for a girl, unless the guy is, like, _hella_ pretty.) He nods toward the guy's white T-shirt, stuck to his abs with a large splash of probably someone's drink. "Nice ink."

The look that passes on the guy's dude is a bit weird, unexpected, not pleasure and not embarrassment. His hand rises to cover his stomach, rub it fitfully, and then he grins again but it's way dimmer than it was. "Ah. It's not really -- nah, never mind, thanks. Heh."

... Um, wow, and now Dave is feeling guilty for being an accidental downer, what the hell. Cute dude needs to stop being fucking adorbs. "Personal meaning, huh?" He nods, tugs the first two buttons of his button-up open to flash the fist-sized clock gear on his breastbone. "Me too."

The guy blinks, mouth opening a bit in surprise, maybe some confusion, and Dave doesn't want to get angst-heavy with some random cute dude at the DJ booth, so he leans in over his table and shoots the sprawling spiral and its writhing tongues of black fire over guy's stomach and belly a sweeping, heavy-lidded look over the rim of his shades.

"So... How far down does this bad boy go?"

Cute Blond stares at him for another second -- wowza, is he, like, _straight_ or what -- and then bursts out laughing. "Oh my _god_ that was so corny! It's like straight out of my teacher's porno books!" He cracks up, slumping against Dave's turntables. "That was _so bad_."

Dave watches him laugh, fights not to laugh with him. Wow, that jerk, why does he have to have such contagious laughter, he's going to damage Dave's rep at this rate. Dave waggles his eyebrows, fighting to keep the rest of his face still. "Yeah, but did it work."

The laughter cuts off with abrupt surprise. Dave feels a little gutpunched when the guy stares at him with laser-guided intensity. Fuck, he's not just cute, he's like. Actively hot. How is he still such a dork if he can pull out that kind of face. 

Dave tilts his head, patient. "Hm?"

"... Huh. Maybe... Maybe a little."

Oh fuck, yes, he is totally going to score. Shit. Yes. It's obvious as the nose in someone's face that this is going to be this guy's big college experimentation -- if he were used to flirting with guys he'd already know who he can pull, there'd be none of that sweet obliviousness and -- and okay, be cool, Strider.

He purrs. "Bro, there's nothing little about my hunger for your... _big tattoo_."

The guy punches him in the shoulder. It's a friendly punch, a laughing one. Dave lets out a stoic ow. Fuck, he's _strong_. Hot. Crazy hot.

Dave changes the music to something that's pretty much porn soundtrack, and then offers the guy his hand, fingers wagging. "I _double-dog dare you_."

The guy squares his shoulders, sets his chin to mulish challenge. "You know what, okay! I will _dance you into the ground_."

It isn't a very sexy dance, no seductive rubbing, no gropes. They get sillier and sillier as they go, ridiculous unsmooth moves and corny eyebrow-waggle competitions, until Dave kisses him and for a while the guy freezes, right here in the middle of the dance floor and Dave thinks he has misread everything from the start.

And then he kisses Dave back so hard he almost takes out his teeth, yanks him into his rock-hard chest and holds on and Dave was wrong, it's the sexiest fucking dance he's ever danced. He rakes his hands through thick bristling hair and holds on. Not a lot of experience in the way the guy uses his tongue, but he learns fast as anything and he's intense enough to make a nun moan.

Dave doesn't know his name and hasn't seen his dick and he already wants his number.

(It feels like he has baby fangs in there. Dave can't wait to feel them on his skin.)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> stheere asked: Blonds Have More Fun - later that night
> 
> (this is still not a serious multipart! i might write another random snippet in this verse if prompted, but it's more likely i'll never touch it again.)

"Holy crap", the guy says, sprawled on Dave’s bed with arms akimbo. Dave swallows a smirk, and pushes his hand off so he can lay down beside him, side by side. No contact though, they’re both too warm and sweaty.

The guy must not have gotten the memo because his hand flops right back down against Dave’s ribs in the next second, knuckles first.

He turns his head on Dave’s pillows to stare at him through the dim of the bedroom. His bangs are glued to his forehead. He is still oddly hot, something feral lurking behind the dork.

Dave hums an interrogative.

"That was. Wow."

The guy’s a talker. That or he’s still nervous. It’s fucking adorable. Argh. Why is he still adorable, they’ve banged already.

"Experiment successful?"

" _Hell yes_." A flicker of hesitation. "Uh. I mean--"

"You’re aware bisexual people exist, right? You’re lying right next to one as we speak, and your magnificent dong hasn’t made me forsake boobies yet. Please don’t have a crisis of sexuality in my bed."

The guy pouts at him for a second, and then relaxes into a smile full of ‘I like you’. "You say ‘yet’, does that mean the next round might--"

Dave never gets to find out what the next round might have done, because at this point his window opens, and they’re kind of _on the seventh floor_.

And there is no fire escape there.

Also it was locked but at this point who cares.

"Augh!" the blond guy yells as he sits up in a leap and yanks all the sheets to him to hug in a ball to his chest.

The older dude crouching on Dave's windowsill has gray hair in an emo cut and an eyepatch. Dave sits up casually, a pillow across his lap, and a hand on the sword he’s got hidden between the head of the mattress and the board.

“ _What the hell are you doing here, teach, you asshole!_ ”

"I take it you guys know each other," Dave says as a second and third person slide from the wall onto the windowsill. One of them is a chick with hair dyed Barbie pink and another a seriously pretty dude with, no, okay, _this_ is emo hair. Pink chick is cringing and averting her eyes.

"Less in-depth than he knows you, I assure you," the grey-haired dude says.

“ _Teach!_ " the girl and the blond chorus.

"Oh my god, that’s, no, why did you say that, why did you even says that, what the hell are you doing here I didn’t tell you to stalk me what if we were bu -- bus -- auuugh!"

Dave takes his hand off his pillow to pat the dude’s manly shoulder offhandedly.

"You didn’t _come home,_ Naruto,” the chick growls. Pretty boy is glaring at the both of them indiscriminately. Dave stretches out and picks up his shades. Ain’t no hiding his chest tattoo or his scars and be smooth, but they haven’t done a thing to deserve seeing his eyes, so.

'Naruto' sounds pretty Asian a name for a blond dude. Then again he does have vaguely Asian eyes, though the blue-and-blond thing really messes with Dave's perception of the shape.

"Your girlfriend’s hot," he says casually, and watches the two of them explode in angry, flustery denials.

"She’s not my girlfriend!" Naruto yells at him at point blank range, a hand gripping his shoulder like he’s afraid Dave will leave without believing him first.

"No? Pity, I was thinking threesome."

Prettyboy’s eye twitches meanly. Dave arches a suave eyebrow his way and regrets that he doesn’t smoke, it’d be the perfect time to light one up.

"Foursome?"

"Since the idiot is fine, I’m going back," Prettyboy growls to the older dude, and _jumps from the window_.

From the lack of alarm, Dave concludes he shouldn’t be expecting a splat.

This is getting _hella_ fascinating.

"Sasuke has the right of it, I believe! We’ll be leaving the two of you alone now. Remember, Naruto, next time you have a booty call please _call us first_.”

He pulls the protesting girl off the window and drops into the night. The window stays open, swinging faintly in the nice, cool breeze.

Dave turns to look at Naruto. “So...”

"Um." The guy has the awkward look of someone expecting a long drawn-out conversation about things he doesn’t know how to explain.

Like the scars made by things like claws, and the way he can match Dave’s speed on the dance floor without even seeming to notice he shouldn’t, and the way his friends seem to think they’re Spiderman. The baby fangs and the tattoo, maybe, even, they ping Dave weird.

"Play any weirdass games recently?"

Welp. From the way Naruto blinks at him, it looks like the awkward explanations will have to be two-sided.


End file.
